Not quite epic, but close. I actually tried to reason with the bun this morning by showing him his father's keys, a picture of keys, and asking where mine were. He just took dad's keys and put them in the bookcase between The Insult and A Catcher in the Rye. Meanwhile, Dad looked in the last place possible, a sealed trash can which had boxes on top of it. Too difficult for the bun? No way! He even replaced the lid so we'd never suspect that my keys were festering there.
Interesting. I wonder what else is missing.