• 1 Lb. cherries in the line of duty, drowned in booze but fated to the trash bin.
  • 1 pint Hennessy down the chute. Words cannot express the sorrow for this loss.
  • 2 batches of fondant, lost because the freakin' cotton fracker mother blasted candy thermometer was recording the temperatures wrong, and I was making hard candy, more or less.
  • 1 bottle cheap brandy discharged dishonorably, possibly redeemed if second and third batches of cherries turn out alright.
  • MIA: respect of my family and peers. Possibly AWOL permanently.