In Which the Protagonist Tries to Reason with a Six Month Old

"You wouldn't be so sleepy if you were asleep, can't you see that? So all this sleepiness? It would just go away because you would be sleeping, which is much better than sleepy. These two words are similar, related as it were, but not the same. Sleeping is better than sleepy. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Go. To. Sleep. Aren't you asleep yet?" Also, while the bun was just as bitchy as an old drag queen last night, as soon as papa showed up he was as pleasant and sweet as they come. I had to remind the bun that while he thought he was pulling the wool over his pop's eyes, I could speak English to him, thereby explaining the situation: that the bun had been a real pain in the patoot and no-one around here was gonna be bamboozled with those adorable toothless grins. Except that I think my husband was hoodwinked anyway.

The big hoodwinker!