Goodbye Girls

I know the boobs were on loan, but it just dawned on me that when the bun starts eating food, the beginning of the end is in sight. It's already begun to some degree; because my early over-active boobs gave me a rocket chest, now that they've settled into a more normal routine I miss the stuffed cantaloupe look. Perverse, since I was in pain and leaking everywhere, but there's always vanity to consider. So I must make my peace with the short-timers. I've been downright voluptuous for a few months, and I guess that's enough. I've never really been a boob-chick anyway--I liked the little perkys I had. But, you know. They were fun and large and weird and soon to be leaving me.

Is there a rent-to-own option?