Domestic Soldier

I'm like a soldier during boot camp, except that instead of field-stripping a rifle in thirty seconds, I can field-strip a breast pump in thirty seconds... in the dark.* Also, the tyke is going from Size 1 diapers to Size 2. *sniff*

*My husband later remembered the "Troops Rifle Prayer" from Full Metal Jacket and recited it back to me, except about my pump:

    "This is my pump. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My pump is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me, my pump is useless. Without my pump, I am useless....

Hilarious. In a sad, scary sort of way.