The third trimester

Better known as the "When you having that thing?" trimester. Over and over and over... Also, childbirth classes can be some high comedy. For instance, the teacher showed us a poster showing the several stages of labor. There were waveforms and pie charts, and on the far right some of the most hilarious graphics of women ever. A round dumpling with spare features, she looked like a placid Mrs. Potato head, up until the pushing stage where she turned into a blowfish or an exploded goldfish or something altogether inhuman and seemingly ichthy-related.

I know I'm not looking forward to the pain, but if women really ended up looking like that we would have to reevaluate this whole breeding thing altogether, which can already be a tough sell as it is.