Who, me, officer?

Over breakfast, we're talking about what chores we need to do before my husband leaves town tomorrow for a few days. He looks at me, his most concerned and admonishing expression on his face and says, "You can't paint while I'm gone." I'm clearly not looking at him. "What?"

"You can't paint while I'm gone."

I look at my breakfast and stir it around a little bit. "I won't."

Shit. So busted. How the hell did he know? I would have gotten to the paint store, realized the folly of my ways and felt like a complete idiot, but I would have ended up at the paint store and he knew it. Am I that predictable? That transparent?

The answer to these and other questions is clearly "yes."

I told him I'd figure out other sneaky ways to defy him. "Just as long as it's not toxic, and not paint."*

I stuck my tongue out at him. That'll show him.

*We have ants in our kitchen and they make me insane. Knowing this, tonight the husband says, "No ant killer, either." I agree wholeheartedly, insect death seeming to have never crossed my mind.

That is until I opened up my list of things to do. What's at the top? Ant killer.

I swear, being married to me is like watching a three year old.