Tomorrow, reputedly, I have to go in for jury duty. This is the fourth time I've been called; the way it works is they send you a notice to appear, you get a panel number, and the night before you go in you phone to find out if your panel has been called up. If it hasn't, they send you a new notice, and it starts all over again. I've been postponed three freakin' times. This wouldn't be a problem if you were called in the next day or even the next week, but usually it's three-four months away. So you forget, live your life, get pregnant, and then get called again.
The way I figure it, they had three other chances with me; I'm using my (hopefully) "get out of jury duty free" card by sticking out that stomach as far as I can, rubbing my back like an old lady, eating all day, going to the bathroom as often as possible, and generally being hormonal. That, added with lefty, bordering on pinko, politics and total opposition to the death penalty should get me excused from any trial they stick in front of me.
Or, if I get postponed again (unlikely, since this is round four), the next time I get called should be right about the eighth month. "No no no, I'm perfectly willing to serve on this jury, and will follow the letter of the law to the best of my ability. I'll have to pee every ten minutes and my water could break in the jury box, but I want to be a good citizen."
That will win over the prosecution for sure.