And another thing...

While I'm feeling hateful, I would like to give a shout-out to all those baby book authors who can't figure out any other way to write than patronizing, pretentious, contrived slop. It's as though you have to be a humorless Stepford Wife to write those freakin' books. And what is it with the convention of calling your child "baby?" Not "the baby, not "your baby," not "an infant," not "your child"...just "baby." "Baby will need 'x'. Baby will keep you up at night. Baby will poop on you." The kid's name WILL NOT BE "BABY"--PLEASE REFRAIN FROM CALLING IT AS THOUGH IT WILL.

And I really hate the tendency to give you all this information, and then hint, not very subtly, that their preference is the only way to raise your child. "You can choose not to breast-feed if you want, but you will be killing your child. No big deal." "If you choose to not wear your child in a sling, expect Human Services to knock on your door any day, but we're not going to tell you what to do." "You might as well resign your child to a life of crime if you don't pick up your child the second he starts crying, but don't let us stop you..."

And you'd think that these people all died above the necks when they became parents and turned into vegetable matter to do nothing but serve and obey the "little master." I can appreciate that we will be the sole caregivers to the tiny tot, but god help me, if I become at automaton completely devoid of outside interests because I've bred, kill me.

I would hope that parents who have interests outside child-rearing would be an inspiration to the little bugger. Keee-rist.