Okay, it's embarrassing--I admit. It's more than embarrassing, it's slightly compulsive. But I have to come clean. I have taken four pregnancy tests. Even though the first one said I was pregnant, the little pink line was so faint that I didn't believe it. That, and as a strange coincidence, my boobs didn't hurt as badly, and I began to think it was a dream. So I took a second test. No big deal, right? Knowing it's still a little early to tell, I thought I'd be easy on myself if inconclusive. HA! Took a second test, but didn't do it first thing the morning, and I tell you what--it matters when you take it. Because there was nothing but the faintest whisper of a line, and I was beginning to suspect I was hallucinating a little pink line in the first place.
But now I had to go out and buy a new test, in preparation for the time when a test would really be conclusive. So I bought a two-pack, and took another test because I couldn't wait--and then there was no line at all! Because I'm an idiot, I didn't take the test in the morning AGAIN. So this morning, I looked at the last remaining test, sitting there, mocking me, as I thought to myself that I might go mad if there wasn't a hot pink line or no line at all to greet me. None of these wishy-washy lines, no soft pastels, no "kinda" pink. I wanted a 1 or a 0. No if's, and's or but's.
And also, I was beginning to realize that I would be really sad if I wasn't pregnant, which is really sort of a surprise. So I wanted to know. NOW!
When I took the fourth (!) test, that line screamed a vivid "I am here I am here I am here" just like the Who's in Whoville, so quickly and with such vehemence that there's really no question: there is in fact a bun in there.
Wow. And now, I have to find a doctor. Do you realize how hard it is to pick a Doctor from a list of hundreds? How do I choose? Nice name? A street I like? I have no idea. I can't believe what as idiot I am.