It was so great to see you, and I’m glad that you got the sense of Dad that he’s in control of his experience, even if he’s not in control of his body as much as he’s accustomed. True to form he’s a tank: battle ravaged, a few dents, been through the war, but chugging along despite himself. He’s in great shape, as he would say, “for someone with a mortal illness.”

Tomorrow we’re going for a new hormone treatment, and I expect we’ll learn what his PSA numbers are, which if they’re going the way we expect them to go, should be good. How good remains to be seen…always hoping but open-minded about whatever may come.

As to your daughter, I’ve been thinking about her a lot. I don’t know her, of course, but I’m familiar with the experience and the benefit of having survived for long enough to have just a smidge of perspective, but I’m still so thoughtful and concerned. I know that this will be a really difficult trial for you both, but this is the good work, even if not the fun work.

I’ve thought about the things that my parents did when I was in the depths; they didn’t have the benefit of a wealth of information (which can also be a curse) but transferred me to a small school which I’m quite sure is the only reason I got through high school at all. I don’t know if I got the education I was qualified for, but I got the experience I *needed*, which was the most important thing at the time. Because it was small there was a tight community of people who knew me personally, noticed if I was missing, noticed what I excelled at. There were problems, too, but on balance it was a great alternative to the morass of high school for me.

I know how miserable it can be. I also know that your love for her can make all the difference, though she may fight you anyway. We’re all struggling with, sometimes against, our natures, and being 16 seems to be ground zero for many of the worst battles of the war. I don’t know why; some toxic combination of hormones, social extremity, confusion about the future and who we want to be, what we’re capable of, how to grow up. It’s so painful, but I know that you’ll do right by her, that you ARE doing right by her.

If you need anything, perspective, compassion, a look at a potential future out of the dark (I’m here, after all, love handles and all!) please call or write. You can always reach me here at the site, but you can just email me too: quenby@ominousrabbit.com.

Cheers to the future….

I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed my visit to Portland. I was obviously ga-ga over Portland – what a beautiful totally liveable city. Love the n’hoods – has what Boulder so obviously lacks – a real working class element sans the yuppie crap (Prius anyone?).

I was prepared for anything – just hanging out at home with Charles. But happy his foot pain didn’t totally prevent him from sightseeing with me. He’s freaking amazing actually. He can talk me under the table. I had to beg off at 10:00 a couple of times, totally exhausted when he was still jabbering away about this and that. I love your Dad, clearly, and this visit was a long overdue gift I will cherish always.

That said, I refuse to believe that Charles’ days are that numbered. Well, OK, all of our days are numbered, but his attitude is going to carry him on .. or not. But whatever the time, he is enjoying every moment – and as I watched him enjoy every moment, he was continuing to teach. Me. Be Here now, he seems to be saying.

Loved meeting Mr Milo. What a great boy you have there! Keep us posted on OR on Milo. Want to follow that kid into adulthood!

I also wanted to thank Janie and Bob for having me over and cooking dinner – that was a lot of fun. It was super wonderful to see you again and see Janie.

And thanks for your supportive advice re Kelsey. The ball is rolling and we are intervening big time with professionals. We had a doc appt yesterday, tomorrow, Friday, next week. Trying to keep her out of the hospital at this point. This is where the rubber hits the road as parents. I will keep you and your dad updated.

Take care.
Love,
Carol

As for your trip, it seems fine to me–did you talk to Dad? He’s really the one; the only thing I do is put things in the calendar. I think it looks good, and of course Dad is thrilled to have you. Hotel options are completely…um…optional. I know that I LOVE hotels, because I get to run away. Not everyone is as crazy as I am, though…

Help is appreciated but not mandantory–Dad is ill but not so compromised yet as to be shocking. That’s a while away yet, I hope…

Anyway. Yes. Can’t wait to see you and get regaled with stories about the grandkids and The Fluid’s reunion! Love, Q

Hope Milo is better. Poor little guy. What an intro to the big world of elementary school!!

Love,

Sarah

Also, me finding all these hotels online was a part of me trying stupidly to be helpful because there’s so little I can actually do. That, and I like hotels.

Hopefully see you in October!