My mother, bless her heart, has seen to my education in the quest for maternity clothes. She goes out, sword in hand, assailing my enemies of hideous patterns and bad prints, and leads me along …

Boobs officially alien to me now, and clearly at the beck and call of other forces at work in my bod. I’m clearly just a vessel at this point, which is pretty damned strange.
Don’t get …

Tonight I went with a friend who was getting a new tattoo designed for her birthday. Somehow, despite all of the boyfriends I have had with ink and extra holes in their bodies, I managed …

My husband works in the music racket. It’s prestigious, or some would think, but a word to those who would fall in love with someone in this god-forsaken profession: the poor guy has worked 18 …

Pimples and a stuffed nose. So now I’m regressing to junior high horrors: in my thirties, I’m developing zits, my nose makes me sound like Lily Tomlin, and I’m getting round.
I’ve become the pimply, chubby, …

Walked through the baby section of a big box today. I need a visa and a translation guide for all of it’s strangeness.
Do they provide post-secondary education for this parenthood thing? Offer degrees in tidy-didy’s …

I’ve got all of these niggling little chores to get done which separately amount to nothing, but together remain this insurmountable pile which looks big and scary from back here.
And my mother and I are …

I’m up at 3:00 in the morning because I can’t sleep. And I can’t sleep because my mother went out of town this weekend, I was watching her cat, and someone broke into her house …

After I told a friend of mine about the bun, she told me that her boyfriend had this thing for pregnant women, found them sexy. Now, I think it’s an amazing thing, I do, but …

Hiding behind private entries, while adjusting to the big news. But since most everyone I know knows, all shall be revealed.
There is a bun in the oven. A pig in the poke. I am a …

Paraphrased from The Sum of All Fears, “The Bun is in play! I repeat, the Bun is in play!”
Today was a big bun exposure day. Which in some ways is slightly sad: people will never …

For those of you who are estranged from your family, I highly recommend making amends before you or your partner gets a bun in the oven. And then, if they don’t already live near you, …

Junior/ette looks just like…um…his/her Dad? A tiny galaxy? A very large bean?
*imagine, if you will, ultrasound with amorphous blobs*
Holy cats, look what we did.
[Edited to add: family resemblance? You be the judge.]
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A friend I haven’t seen in quite some time was convinced that I had lost weight since the last time I saw her. Little does she know. For the first time in my life I …