I actually remember the day I discovered MetaFilter. I was reading the now-defunct Brill’s Content and there was Mr. Haughey on the cover. I went to MetaFilter and a universe opened up to me. I …

The bun and I were playing on the sofa in front of the living room window when I looked at him and realized, “He’s my son.” While it seems utterly absurd that I would stumble …

We got the bun a Fisher-Price zoo* for his birthday, complete with lion, seal, polar bear, elephant, a monkey who jumps up and down and a freakishly large blue bird which whistles “Hail to the …

You might think that your first kiss as a gangly teen, laden with awkward intensity, ghastly overwrought emotion, and no small dosage of hormone poisoning, is the most important kiss in your life but you’d …

I went to the chicken-naming party. Like old time Chicago, there was a great abundance of voter fraud, wheeling and dealing for personal chicken-name nomination, gerrymandering and a general sense of raucous bad voter faith. …

My neighbor who always has mom-parties called me up last night. She’s British, so think “nice accent” when you read it.
“We’ve got three lovely ladies in the new coop,”* she said. “They’re quite beautiful. Harry …

I concluded my little holiday book (which people will receive in lieu of those traitorous fruits) with this footnote:
I have seen my Drunken Cherries through to their conclusion, and there’s been no step which hasn’t …

Finally, after weeks of attempting chocolate bonbon creation, my little tubs of chocolate cherries have collapsed upon themselves in a tide of cherry ooze and ruptured chocolate.
Literally nothing else bad can happen to them.
The cherries …

We drove by this tacky furniture place on our way to breakfast this morning. In the window were life-sized porcelain cheetahs, one in calm contemplation, one hissing or growling at something–the theatre harlequins of the …

I’ve never been defeated by such a small piece of fruit. I have 25 chocolate-covered cherries for my toil. Twenty-Five.
It’s been a comedic affair so I don’t feel terrible, but I look at my tiny …

With the tenacity of a rabid pit bull and against all odds, I have finished my first batch of cherries. There have been set-backs, there have been losses, but fourteen little cherries are now wrapped …

1 Lb. cherries in the line of duty, drowned in booze but fated to the trash bin.
1 pint Hennessy down the chute. Words cannot express the sorrow for this loss.
2 batches of fondant, lost because …

My journey into the jungle of confection continues. The walls of candy are closing in on me, threatening to tip me into the abyss of madness. The world runs in rivers of blood-red cherry syrup …

It’s been a week since my Holy Grail quest began:
Found marble slab and scraper in bathtub this morning, still covered in poorly formed fondant.
Fondant Trial Mach 2 begins today. Hope springs eternal.
Husband leery of cherries …