Comments on: There But for the Grace of God… http://ominousrabbit.com/2010/01/there-but-for-the-grace-of-god/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=there-but-for-the-grace-of-god Online News Journal of My Very Small World Thu, 29 Jul 2010 03:32:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Dad http://ominousrabbit.com/2010/01/there-but-for-the-grace-of-god/comment-page-1/#comment-110 Dad Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:42:01 +0000 http://ominousrabbit.com/?p=2630#comment-110 Dear Q., I am as thankful as you are that you and Lars found each other. Seeing the two of you together gives me such joy because it's so obvious how much the two of you appreciate each other. It's the kind of relationship I always wished for but never managed to engage in. Still I'm not complaining, since you and Chris were the great gifts to come to me out of my failed partnerships, and now Lars, and Milo. Can't imagine anything better. Love, Dad Dear Q., I am as thankful as you are that you and Lars found each other. Seeing the two of you together gives me such joy because it’s so obvious how much the two of you appreciate each other. It’s the kind of relationship I always wished for but never managed to engage in. Still I’m not complaining, since you and Chris were the great gifts to come to me out of my failed partnerships, and now Lars, and Milo. Can’t imagine anything better. Love, Dad

]]> By: Ominous Rabbit http://ominousrabbit.com/2010/01/there-but-for-the-grace-of-god/comment-page-1/#comment-109 Ominous Rabbit Thu, 21 Jan 2010 20:04:06 +0000 http://ominousrabbit.com/?p=2630#comment-109 I know, Dad. We didn't know what we were looking at, I think. Now that we know, it's easier to put it in a more controlled environment and starve it. But we didn't, I didn't, no-one really knew what all those lifestyle choices were made up of. I didn't know why I was so compelled to self-destruction, just that I didn't know any other way to be. It never occurred to me that self-destruction might be a symptom of something much greater; it only felt that I didn't deserve any better, so best to make light of a bad situation. Best to describe situations to myself in terms which made it all seem like I was consciously embracing an avant garde when really I was embracing my own demise. Fickle thing, our brains. But I knew one thing only when I began to resurface as a whole person: When I met Lars, he was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and as a result I began to embrace all my potential and not just my horrors. He allowed for all of me to shine, and I love him immensely for it. He was the only right thing I had done in years, and I knew that he was worth fighting the good fight for. My story has a happy ending, even though it was a rough go for a while. I know, Dad. We didn’t know what we were looking at, I think. Now that we know, it’s easier to put it in a more controlled environment and starve it. But we didn’t, I didn’t, no-one really knew what all those lifestyle choices were made up of. I didn’t know why I was so compelled to self-destruction, just that I didn’t know any other way to be.

It never occurred to me that self-destruction might be a symptom of something much greater; it only felt that I didn’t deserve any better, so best to make light of a bad situation. Best to describe situations to myself in terms which made it all seem like I was consciously embracing an avant garde when really I was embracing my own demise.

Fickle thing, our brains. But I knew one thing only when I began to resurface as a whole person: When I met Lars, he was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and as a result I began to embrace all my potential and not just my horrors. He allowed for all of me to shine, and I love him immensely for it. He was the only right thing I had done in years, and I knew that he was worth fighting the good fight for.

My story has a happy ending, even though it was a rough go for a while.

]]> By: Dad http://ominousrabbit.com/2010/01/there-but-for-the-grace-of-god/comment-page-1/#comment-107 Dad Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:19:12 +0000 http://ominousrabbit.com/?p=2630#comment-107 Dear Quenby, I'm so sorry you felt you had to slog through this tub of shit all by yourself. Not that I know what I could have done to help, but at least you wouldn't have had to be befuddled alone. You must know how much people love and respect you--no one did or maybe could have guessed at the time what you were struggling with. Had they known, you would have found that you were surrounded by allies, some of whom being brighter than either of us might have helped to figure something out. But in truth you were a lot braver than you make yourself out to be--however scary the paths you took, you took them, and somehow managed to come out the other end of the labyrinth stronger than before. But I do wish I had been able to be the wise raven, the dog with eyes as big as platters, or the wizened old dwarf who helped you along your way. My little princess you were and are now, and it's a sore wound to hear what you went through. I love you, Dad Dear Quenby, I’m so sorry you felt you had to slog through this tub of shit all by yourself. Not that I know what I could have done to help, but at least you wouldn’t have had to be befuddled alone. You must know how much people love and respect you–no one did or maybe could have guessed at the time what you were struggling with. Had they known, you would have found that you were surrounded by allies, some of whom being brighter than either of us might have helped to figure something out. But in truth you were a lot braver than you make yourself out to be–however scary the paths you took, you took them, and somehow managed to come out the other end of the labyrinth stronger than before. But I do wish I had been able to be the wise raven, the dog with eyes as big as platters, or the wizened old dwarf who helped you along your way. My little princess you were and are now, and it’s a sore wound to hear what you went through. I love you, Dad

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