Shrimp Job and the Bun
There are moments when you have to ask yourself, “Did I encourage this behavior? Did I create a monster?”
That sinking feeling comes when you note that your normally well-balanced tot is lying on the floor to get a close-up on your bare feet so that he can chew on your toes. And you move your toes, because, well, ick. But he follows your feet trying to track the elusive piggies, and you realize that you’re embarrassed in a way specific to events like someone’s pet parrot pooping on your shoulder or a toy poodle humping your leg at a party. You want him to spontaneously scoop himself up from the floor rather than to push him away yourself, losing interest in your digits, and you wonder why on earth he wants to suck them in the first place?
And then you realize, you chew on his feet all the time. You and your husband may have, in cheerful innocence while making diaper-changing less boring, created a foot diva by chewing his tiny little toes in mock ravenous hunger. “He’s going to be out with some adorable girl and she’s going to say, ‘You know, you’re really cute but I don’t know about the shrimp job thing,’ said my husband.
The truth is, it’s all in good fun. I’m sure we’re scarring him in plenty of other ways that are less overt than making a foot fetishist out of him.
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