The bun is desperately trying to gain control of his hand, and it’s making me insane. He seems to know that it’s attached to him, he seems to know that it’s supposed to do what he tells it to do, but he just can’t quite make it go where he wants it to.

He has a toy that he loves, and he’s realized that he can grab it and pull it toward his mouth. So he gets an expression of extreme concentration, willing his hand toward the toy, staring at it as though it will only budge via mental telepathy. In the meantime, while he’s getting wound up and frustrated because he can’t do it, he doesn’t realize that he has in fact grabbed it with his other hand. I watch with the same discomfort that I reserve for reality shows, which is to say, it drives me crazy.

I want to direct operations so that he doesn’t get pissed off and can stick that rattle in his mouth with abandon, but I know this is cheating and doesn’t work anyway. So I watch and cringe, waiting for the day when he succeeds in his goals. Then he’ll find reaching and grabbing very passé, and move on to some other thing that will make me long for the mornings when he would sit quietly, willing his hand to cooperate.

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