Here are the ranges so far:

Dates: between January 7 and January 28 (!!!) *shakes fist at Karl*\
None of you seem to think that tonight is the night. *cries*

Weight: between 5 lbs, 8 oz and 10 lbs, 2 oz. *shakes fist at the Goose*

Length: 14.5 inches and “really, really, really long.” (what’s up, cat? You got it in for me?)

Names for females: Hahaha. Petunia is lovely, but no. Karla? Pernilla? Saffron? See, I couldn’t name her Saffron because that would make me too much like Eddie from Ab Fab, and really, I always prided myself on being more “Pats.” Sorpresa sounds Italian, which me likey, except that the poor tot would have the same mispronunciation kerfuffle that I’ve always had. Madison…this was the only normal name in the bunch, and because of this, it would have to be a “no.” That, and it reminds me of Daryl Hannah.

In the advice department, I got “Hurry up so I can sit on the baby,” to “Soylent Green is people” (very good advice indeed) to “If he refuses to budge, an exorcist may be in order.” All sage wisdom.

The table’s are still open so vote early and often, as they say in Chicago.

In other news, many of you opened LiveJournal accounts to fill out the poll, and I feel obliged to befriend you all (in the LiveJournal sense of the word, which means that I link to you on my user page) though I have absolutely no expectation that any of you will ever write a blasted thing. You are too kind (or crazy). But I hope that you all become junkies for the public exposure of your deepest humiliations like me! Or that you use your new journals for some creative endeavor, like writing the fictional account of your boss’s pathetic love-life or the biography of your inner garden gnome.

If there are still those of you who want to get in on the gambling fun, I will reiterate that all you have to do is leave a comment in the “Be an art-eest” section with your guesses and not actually sign up for a LiveJournal account.

You have amused me in my corpulent phase and I am grateful. Now let’s get this baby out, shall we?

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