Pimples and a stuffed nose. So now I’m regressing to junior high horrors: in my thirties, I’m developing zits, my nose makes me sound like Lily Tomlin, and I’m getting round.

I’ve become the pimply, chubby, nasal girl that everyone teases.

Who knew that a stuffy nose (“rhinitis of pregnancy” they call it) was a symptom of bunliness? Not I, friends, not I.

In other news, I told a friend of mine yesterday about the bun, and he just looked at me, lit a cigarette and said, “Wow. I don’t think I can handle this right now.” As if I had just told him I was having his baby. Maybe because he’s in a band, it’s something he’s heard a lot and his war wounds are bringing back the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

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